Cocained Animal, What Else one could ever ask for!! ;)

Hey people, Ssupp!! 

I can't wait any longer to tell you this.  

Well, presently I am in this whole new moody mood which says, 

"Tell-me-your-real-life-stories, Mate, I am all ears". Disclosing a li'l secret here, I ain't no person who would take any other shit you yap yap in front of me, so this moment is analogous to Once in a decade sort of thing. Yeah, I can be good too, sometimes ;)  

Anyways, awhile back, I was in conversation with a friend and we had this over the top imaginative and silly talk about Animals and Cocaine. I know I caught you thinking, "What the heck does that supposed to mean, Girl". But, Trust me, it was beyond the normal human tendency and in one word, AWESOME!!  

By the way, Have you ever wondered a person lying on the roadside unconscious and intoxicated, Now don't hit me with a broom screaming, "I have even seen that several times with my eyes, big deal". Okay, relax and answer this, Have you ever wondered some animal, be it a reptile or a dog or a cat or anything you can think of, the same way??  No, not certainly your ex girlfriend’s new boyfriend, for he is still a homo sapien :P 

The point here is, I can tell you a way out to save your life from an “Animal Attack” 

Yeah yeah, now don't start all the buttering and stuff, I love my readers and this knowledge gonna be absolutely free for you all. See, I told you I am A Cool Cool Girl. 

Few simple steps which will change the course of your life and then, you, and the one who attacked you, will never ever be the same. No, I didn’t mean to confuse you again, Read on Weak Heart. 

ü  Step 1: Get out of your home, you lazy ass.

ü  Step 2: Your sole focus right now is to find an animal lying vulnerable nearby. Here, nearby is not defined in terms of distance but the dedication in your heart. Omg that was a dialogue!!

ü  Step 3: If someone is watching you doing this cool stuff and tryinna read your weird mind along with, pass him the shortest smile possible and then ignore the freak.

ü  Step 4: Luckily, if you find a sleeping cat outside someone’s home, Gather courage and walk towards it. No, not like that leg less turtle. :/

ü  Step 5: Initially, Pretend you didn’t notice it. Remember, do not lose yourself in the pretentious character so freaking badly that instead of getting this task done, you walk pass the home’s main door and start playing basketball. Yeah, we will definitely deal with it later on. ;)

ü  Step 6: Try to jump here and there around calmly sleeping cat. Not like you are a ninja of course. Huh

ü  Step 7: Smell the cat as strongly as possible, coz they have a tendency to hide their real fragrance. As if others will go over to them and ask, “Which perfume, my highness”. Hence proved, not only, we humans love to hide our secret desires, it can be a kitty too ;)

ü  Step 8: Intentionally, step onto its tail. Oh dude, not like pressing it beneath your feet, you cruel some evil monster. Actually, just like that. :D

ü  Step 9: Now, If you see no reaction in return, thank the Almighty, and if you do, C’mon Stop reading and run for your life, Moron :P

ü  Step 10: If the cat is faster than you, darn, you are oh-so-gone. 

ü  Step 11: Well, not really, you have something with you and that something ought to save your life from these sudden animal attacks, being specific enough, Cat attacks. 

ü  Step 12: Stop running now and turn around like a hero, eye to eye with the wild cat. Don't scare the sweet Kitty now by dancing around like crazy. Just grab some attention. 

ü  Step 13: Sit beside it, take a deep breath and ask, “Ain’t you tired off running like your tiger grandpa and need a break.” I knew you will try to add some background effects thereby humming the famous Kit-Kat-Break-Banta-Hai song but stfu, seriously. ;)

ü  Step 14: Thereby, on the first go, all you going to hear is a Big meow with eyes popping out and her face turning red with blood rush. But, Losers don't quit. :P. No, u ain't one, I swear with a wink :D 

ü  Step 15: Go ahead, this time try it with a different style, something like, “I know I kind of disturbed you while I was practicing for Delhi Marathon,but it was,by all means, an accident.” No, crying ain’t required; It’s not an Ekta Kapoor Saas bahu daily pathetic soap anyway.

ü  Step 16: Still, if nothing works in your favor and the Meow’s pitch gets higher and higher with every passing second, It’s time to reveal the “Something” mentioned in step 11.

ü  Step 17: Cocaine, the Life Saver. Take that magical cocaine sachet out of your pocket, and give a small amount of it to your darlin’ cat ;)

ü  Step 18: I already knew she will fall in. All thanks to me. 

ü  Step 19: Now don’t show your real side and start rolling on the floor watching her do all that crazy shitty stuff like flying in the air and catching hold of a Big Dog nearby blushing in him and then climbing on the tree assuming herself to be a monkey. Poor soul can’t be blamed; she ain’t in her senses anyway.

ü  Step 20: To add some more nonsense to this ongoing fun, have a bit of cocaine yourself and join the Talli Toli. Oh yeah.

ü  Step 21: Next day news headlines, “A girl/boy found intoxicating a cat on  the road, who enjoyed it herself like hell and has requested The Indian  Government to arrange a Cocaine party for poor kitties and other  neighboring animals who want to experience this Hi way on the Highway” :P 

ü  Step 22: Mission accomplished, you are Famous, Woohoo!!

And that was a short tale in which I helped you get some stardom. Man, I simply love the way I am. ;)

Note to the World: The above mentioned method is real adventurous and crappy. So, if anyone of you feels like doing so, don’t forget to make a video of your lovely act to and upload it on the Youtube later on with the title:

“Exceptionally Cocained and Inspirational, A MUST WATCH” ;)

 Any more queries and doubts Please, Get some cocaine fella and chill. 

 And yeah, listen to “Cocaine” by “Eric Clapton” while performing this experiment. 

 Have a good one, mates. :)